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20-20 Vision
A 47 Year Old Woman
A Jersey Wife
A Tongue Twister
And Then The Fight Started
Are You Hungry?
ATM Procedures for Men and Women
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Betty Crocker
Bottle of Wine
Bulls
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Camels
Change A Lightbulb?
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Creation
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Dear Tide
Eight Simple Rules
Encourage Your Wife
Female Hormones in Beer
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Fishin'
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Getting Out of a Ticket
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He Said, She Said
Helping the Homeless
High School Reunions
How I Got Fired From Walmart
How To Shower
How To Translate English From Men and Women
HusbandMart
Impressing the Sexes
In Praise Of Older Women
Inheritance
It's Tough To Be A Man
Just Words
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Outta Here
Over 70? Who cares?
Physical Exam
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Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Police Warning To All Men
Poor Bob
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Priceless
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Refrigerator Note
Reindeer
Roy and Bea
Sam and Bessie
Satan
Scottish Love
Secrets of Women's Language
Self-Esteem
Senior Smarts
She Says, He Hears
Shipped Home
Shortest Fairy Tale Ever
Simple Math
Sixty-Sixth Birthday
Snotty Receptionist
Stranded On A Desert Island
Suspicious Minds
Tampons
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The 6th Grader
The Dentist's Office
The Honeymoon
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Think Like A Woman
To Women Everywhere
Two Guys
UCLA Study
What Do Women Really Want?
What I Want In A Man
What If Men Wrote Self-Help Advice Columns
What Starts With F And Ends With K
Where Have You Been?
Who's The Boss?
Why Men Are Never Depressed
Why Women Are Crabby
Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
Wise Advice On Marriage and Dating
Woodcutter's Wife
Creation

When God created man and all the beasts, he also gave to each of them an expected life span and a period during which each would experience good sex.

He said to man, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 3 score and ten years, with 20 years of good sex."

To the monkey, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 20 years, with 18 years of good sex."

To the horse, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 25 years, with 20 years of good sex."

To the lion, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 30 years, with 25 years of good sex."

Man heard each of these pronouncements, and thought he'd received a long lifespan, but not much in good sex compared to the beasts. So, he went to each of the animals and asked them if they could give up a few of their years of good sex since man had so few. The monkey said, "I suppose I could give you 5 years of good sex. That way I'll still have over half my life with good sex." The horse said, "You can have 5 years. I'll still have 15 of my 25 years of good sex." Finally, man went to the lion, who said, "I'm really mostly interested in hunting. You can have 20 of my 25 years of good sex." And man was happy.

He went to God, who of course already knew of the generosity of all the beasts in sharing so many of their allotted years of good sex with man. And God said, "Let it be ever so. You shall add to your 20 years of good sex 5 years from the monkey, 5 years from the horse, and 20 years from the lion." And ever since then, man has enjoyed 20 years of good sex, 5 years of monkeying around, 5 years of horsing around, and 20 years of lion about it all.