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@ Hostek "If you don't know where you're going, any bus will do"
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1904
25 Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The 90's
30 Politically Correct Ways To Discuss Someone's Mental Shortcomings
30 Years Difference
Alcohol Warnings
All About Dogs
Automated Call Directing
Basic Truths
Black Testicles
Carlinisms
Celebrity One-Liners
CEO
Did You Know?
Do You Remember?
First Day On The Job
Food Facts
Fun Reflections On Life
Hell Freezes
Hollywood Squares
Investing Key Words
IT Support
Job Interview
Language Quirks
Lent
Life Is Like A Dog
Little Known Facts
Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity
Management Lesson
Musings
My Bottle Rocket
New Dictionary Words
New Words for the Next Century
Newspaper Headlines
Oath Of Enlistment
O'Malley
Other Rules Of Life
Pet Diaries
Poor Grandpa
Potty Training
Purina Diet
Quick Thinker
Sayings That Should Be On Buttons
Senior Moments
Serenity
Sex in the Shower
Shake It Off
Shopping
Signs
Small World
Smarter Than Most
Sums
Survivor Show - Texas Style
Ten Cents A Drink
Thank You Letter
The Cat Years
The Christmas Dolly
The Lawyer and The Farmer
The Old Poodle
The Old Rancher
The Value of a Good Drink
The Watch
Things I've Learned From My Children
Things That Make You Go "Hmmm"
Things You Didn't Know
Thoughts For The Day
Useless Information
Watch What You Eat
We Made It!
What Really Happened To The Kursk
Why We REALLY Gain Weight
Words To Live By
Wrong Email Address
You Know You Work For The Government When…
You Know You're In California When…
NEW WORDS FOR THE NEXT CENTURY
BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT An outside expert brought in to reduce the Employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
MOUSE POTATO The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
SQUIRT THE BIRD To transmit a signal to a satellite.
STARTER MARRIAGE A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
TREEWARE Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
XEROX SUBSIDY Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
GOING POSTAL Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
ALPHA GEEK The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
ASSMOSIS The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
CHIPS & SALSA Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
FLIGHT RISK Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD JOB A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
IRRITAINMENT Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's video Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
UNINSTALLED Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of ____, Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." *(Synonym: decruitment.)
VULCAN NERVE PINCH The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
SALMON DAY The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404 Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him . . . he's a 404, man."
GENERICA Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.